


Lightweights

by bloodandcream



Series: Ship all the Ships [31]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bar Room Brawl, Drinking, Humor, M/M, St. Patrick's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3670170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were licking out the remnants of jello in the shot glasses and there was a flush on Cas’ cheeks and oh crap Dean remembered that he was supposed to impose a ‘one beer only’ limit on the both of them. They were complete lightweights.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lightweights

Leprechauns.

Actual, real life friggin’ leprechauns.

Well, fairies and red caps and Oberon were all real too, so of course leprechauns had to be as well. And of course they would come out full force to torment people around St. Patrick’s Day. Dean should have seen this shit show coming for miles.

Leprechauns were not, however, the cute mischievous little guys in green suits and bowlers like you saw on cereal boxes. Oh no. They were evil, vicious, ugly little dicks. And they were biters - literally ankle biters.

"Oh man you should have seen them tripping up Dean, he wind-milled so hard before he went down."

Sam was laughing as he told his story to Garth.

"Dude I thought they were going to chew through my ankles. Wasn’t funny when it was happening."

"It was leprechauns. On St. Patrick’s Day. It was very funny."

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up, you screamed like a little girl when they climbed your shoulders and pulled your hair."

Sam patted at his hair gingerly. “I thought they were going to pull it out.”

"You need a haircut Samantha, how many times have I told you that mop’s a liability."

"At least Cas is quick on his feet. Good job with that spell."

Cas smiled at the small praise, sipping his green beer.

Garth was bobbing his head excitedly, “Wow, that’s wild guys, I wish I could have seen them.”

The four of them were smooshed into a booth in a crowded bar ordering drink specials while St. Patrick’s Day celebrations were in full swing. Dean, Sam and Cas were all still in their monkey suits. The leprechauns had gotten the jump on them in the library parking lot. They’d been trying to research how to kill the little suckers after Garth had ID’d them and given pointers on where to look for something to kill them.

It was just dumb luck that after Dean had broken down and called Garth, the guy was less than an hours drive away from them. Garth had volunteered to come help on the hunt, but the leprechauns had found Dean, Sam and Cas before the three of them could find the leprechauns. By the time Garth showed up, they were on body disposal duty.

Cas was still looking fascinated by his green beer. “Well, you two served a good distraction for them. I thought leprechauns were solitary, I had no idea they worked together.”

Garth nodded from where he was sitting next to Cas. “Yeah, I mean me too. I’d of totally warned you guys if I knew, but everything says they’re supposed to be pretty territorial.”

Dean shrugged it off, “Wasn’t the first time things turned out weird.”

Garth still had that abomination of a jacket with long fringes hanging off the sleeves. Dean begrudgingly had to admit that he was doing a damn decent job of patching a hunter’s network back together and helping keep people alive. That was the most important part of the job in the end. The people they were trying to save. Garth cared a lot. He was a weird little dude, but he tried.

Sam was leaning back against the booth, his freaky long limbs taking up too much space under the table. “Hey, so you’re still heading out somewhere for a hunt right?”

Garth nodded, “Yep, about another few hours east from here.”

"You need any help on the case?"

"Nah, seems pretty straightforward, it’s gotta be a werewolf. But thanks for the offer Sam."

Sam shrugged. He was looking a whole lot healthier than even a few weeks ago. Dean was still doing a damn fine job - if you ask him - of not thinking about all the ways this whole ‘inviting an angel into his brother’s body’ picnic could turn belly side up in a heartbeat.

Drinking helped. It always did. Cas and Sam wanted to hang out with Garth and celebrate a good hunt, and it was St. Patrick’s Day after all so Dean figured they wouldn’t harass him for getting shit faced. He wanted to drive to a nice run down little dive, you know the kind with dim lighting and sticky floors. Instead they were sitting in some douchebag sports bar that looked like a cereal box leprechaun had spewed all over the interior.

See the thing was, that they had driven by this place and Cas had gotten all excited with the bright decorations and gimmicky signs for themed celebrations and drink specials. Garth had taken sides with Cas. Then Sam took sides with them. So Dean had rolled his eyes, parked baby, and trudged out with the others.

There were massive tv’s playing different sports stations, the bar stools were chrome, the tables were ‘artfully distressed’. It was a douche fest. At least the waitresses were dressed in tight white tops and plaid mini skirts. Bless the bastardized, sexualized, alcoholified celebration of St. Patty’s Day.

A pretty blonde waitress stopped by their both and set down a tray of bright green jello shots. Garth thanked her with a big smile before she sauntered away. He then started to push shots at everyone on the table.

Dean picked one up and eyed it. “Dude, really, jello shots? Totally a girly drink. Hell it’s not even a drink.”

Cas stink eyed him across the table, accepting a little plastic shot glass from Garth. “Dean, I don’t think drinks have a designated gender.”

Sam snickered into his beer before putting it down and taking a shot glass.

"It’s green Dean, you have to eat it."

"Is that a new holiday rule?"

Sam bitch faced at him.

Across the table Garth and Cas were tipping their plastic glasses back and shaking them but the jello was firmly stuck in place. Dean shook his head and picked up one for himself.

"You guys are doing it wrong, you’ve gotta tongue the jello away from the cup before it’ll slip out."

Lifting the shot glass to his face he wiggled his tongue down one side of the jello and twisted the cup to free the sugary, vodka lime concoction before tipping his head back and swallowing it without chewing. Too sweet. He went back to his beer even though there was enough for about three shots each on the tray the waitress delivered. The others could finish them.

Everyone was staring at him.

"What?"

Sam, smug little smirk on his face, looked away. “Nothing, you just looked pretty cozy with your jello there. Sure you haven’t done that before?”

"Whatever."

Dean couldn’t look away as Garth and Cas started tonguing at the jello shots. Sam did two, with a little flick of his tongue he had the jello sliding out neatly. The other guys though. Wow. It was like a train wreck. Garth was trying to wrap his lips around the edge of the shot cup as he sucked out the jello, and Cas was licking in to his cup with his forehead creased in concentration as he turned his whole head side to side.

Garth and Cas - messily - finished the shots between them, bumping elbows and giggling like school girls at their own stupidity. Dean was glad Cas was doing better though. He seemed a lot different than he used to be, but he’d been through a lot lately. Being human was bound to change him, Dean just didn’t expect that he’d be …. happier. Or at least, smile a hell of a lot more.

They were licking out the remnants of jello in the shot glasses and there was a flush on Cas’ cheeks and oh crap Dean remembered that he was supposed to impose a ‘one beer only’ limit on the both of them. They were complete lightweights.

Well, if they were gonna get drunk and stupid, Dean just needed to get drunker. He flagged down a waitress for another pitcher of green beer, and they all decided to put in orders for food too. Dean wanted the special they had for ‘fish and chips’ - seriously just call if french fries - and Sam surprisingly went for the same thing. Of course Cas ordered what they did, and Garth veered into left field with something called a Reuben.

The drunker he got the prettier the shiny green decorations strung around the bar got. There were four leaf clover’d everything in sight - strings of lights, foil cut outs - and chubby little pictures of leprechauns with rainbows and pots of gold. Every so often the waitresses would circle around the room passing out strings of green beads - with glittery four leaf clovers dangling off them, of course. People had on tacky holiday themed clothes, more than happy in their raucous drunkenness to drape themselves in cheap beads and shout at each other over the noise of the crowd and the loud music.

Cas kept watching the waitresses going around with beads. Dean could practically see him squirm in his booth, eyes shining, looking like a little kid working up the nerve to raise his hand for the teacher. Cas eventually got his nerve worked up, turning his bright blue eyes on Dean.

"I would like a string of beads."

"All you gotta do is ask the pretty ladies Cas, don’t tell me you’re shy around them."

Sam elbowed him.

Garth flashed a smile, “I’ll get some beads for you Cas!”

Before Dean could think too hard about that, Garth was shooting up from the booth, swaying out into the crowd a little ways from their table, lifting up his shirt and jumping around.

"They’re St. Patrick’s Day beads, not Mardi Gras beads!"

Cas squinted at him, “Isn’t it customary to exchange something for the beads Dean?”

"Okay one, that’s Mardi Gras, and two, girls shake their tits around for beads, it isn’t something guys do."

Cas glared harder, shrugging out of his suit jacket as his nimble fingers worked open the buttons of his shirt. Oh crap.

Sam chimed in, “Don’t be an ass Dean.”

Looking over, Dean could see just how pink Sam’s cheeks were. He needed a hell of a lot more whiskey to catch up to these guys. He flagged down the waitress and tacked on a few shots to their dinner.

White dress shirt open and tie loose, Cas slid out of the booth to jump up next to Garth and lift up his undershirt. The tattoo down his side hiding him from angels was healing up nicely, Dean noticed - and he did not notice anything else. Not a thing. Nope.

A few strands of beads had been flung their way as people laughed when Garth flashed everyone. Now that Cas was up there too, enthusiastically wiggling around like he had anything to shake, the beads were flying over. Huh. So it worked for Patty’s day too.

As they slid back into the booth, strings of beads clinking around their necks, Sam went back to talking about the case that Garth had just finished.

"So was it a full on nest?"

"Nope, I only caught one vamp and I didn’t see signs of any others in the area."

"Huh."

"Yeah. Hey, do any of you guys want a kitten?"

Cas’ head whipped to the side to look at Garth. Dean shook a finger at him. “No. No kittens. No kittens in my car. No kittens in the bunker. No kittens.”

Garth laughed, “Dean you sound like a Dr. Seuss book.”

Cas grumbled, “Why do you have kittens?”

"Well, I was trying to track down this vampire, right. And I went over to her apartment and helped myself in, to get some clues. There was a whole litter of kittens, six of them, curled up in a closet. At least the momma cat was still around, I think she was coming and going through a window and foraging for her babies."

Cas’ mouth was wide and he was raptly listening to the story. Even Sam was invested, leaning across the table as Garth continued.

"I had to go back for them once the vamp was taken care of. You know, no one ever thinks about the pets of people that get turned or the victims of these monster attacks. Dogs and cats left behind. Fish. Guinea pigs."

"Do you have guinea pigs?" Cas was leaning against Garth at this point.

"Not right now, no, but I did find a cage of two at one case where a loner was killed by a ghost and there was no one to take them. Found a local shelter for them though."

Cas sagged back against the booth, “Oh that’s good.”

Sam scrunched his face up like he was thinking. “You know I’ve never paid attention to that before. We should make sure to keep an eye out for that.”

"Definitely. But be careful. If you rescue any pets, do your research on local shelters and be sure to give them to a no kill shelter," Garth nodded sagely.

Cas looked horrified, “Why would a shelter kill the animals?”

Sam shook his head, “Cas a lot of the time they’re over crowded and they can’t take care of all the pets so they euthanize them.”

"That doesn’t sound very nice."

Garth agreed, “It’s not. But there’s plenty of good shelters out there that don’t euthanize. Right now I’ve got a box of kittens I need to find homes for.”

Dean scowled at Cas as the big blues were turned on him. They had a stare off until the food arrived, steaming hot and greasy. Dean appreciated the magnificent view as the waitress bent over the table setting down bright red baskets of food, and he gave her a sly smile when she winked at him before turning away.

He moaned when he bit into the thick beer battered cod fish, after just one bite he was considering ordering seconds. Sam was chowing down enthusiastically. Across the table Cas was asking Garth about his weird sandwich. Reuben. It had sauerkraut on it. Who puts pickled cabbage on a sandwich? Garth cut a little section of his sandwich off and passed it to Cas, who nibbled at it before shoving the whole thing in his mouth. Cas ended up trading a piece of fish for half of Garth’s sandwich. Dean picked up the partially empty pitcher of beer to refill everyone’s mugs.

Garth waved him off, “Nah, I’ve had my limit for the night if I want to drive more later.”

"Suit yourself."

Cas looked disappointed, “Are you staying in town for the night?”

"I was thinking about driving on. It was just luck I was near enough to swing by. Guess you guys didn’t need me after all."

Sam swallowed a bite, “Hey, we always like seeing you Garth. Thanks for your help on the research man.”

Dean stuffed his face instead of taking part in the chick flick moment. Garth and Cas seemed determined to continue said moment on their own. The Reuben that Garth gave Cas was messy with filling and dressing, some of it sticking in the corner of Cas’ mouth. Garth thumbed it off, smiling while Cas blushed and holy crap it was like Dean was in high school again. He didn’t even know that Cas was in to dudes. Or that Garth was too for that matter. Although really, Garth just seemed to like everyone. Dean almost thought that whatever those two bead wearing loons were up to could be completely innocent.

Almost.

Until Garth licked his thumb, and Cas leaned closer. Until Dean saw Cas’ hand shift onto Garth’s thigh as they pressed their shoulders together and turned more into each other’s space. Until Garth tipped forward and Cas pushed their lips together.

"Holy shit."

It was said quietly enough the two now mackin’ on each other probably didn’t hear it but Dean just nodded in agreement at Sam’s statement.

"Yeah. Wow. Do you think we should give them the talk?"

He turned to look at his brother and Sam was giving him a bitchface. “What kind of talk?”

"You know, for one - you need to use a different kind of protection than an angel blade, for two - there’s no such thing as too much lube, for three - two dudes can have sex without going all the way with anal."

Sam looked shocked - slack jawed shocked - and Dean just shrugged it off, grabbing his beer off the table again.

The bar was crowded and there were clusters of people everywhere. A few beefy construction worker type guys were standing close enough for Dean to catch how they were pointing and staring as Cas continued eating Garth’s face instead of his food. Dean heard one of them cough and stutter ‘faggot’. He was on his feet pushing into the guys face before he thought about it.

"Hey, you got something you want to say to my face asshole?"

Jackass number one - looking like some kind of sleazy lumberjack - stepped up to Dean. “Maybe I do. Maybe I got something to say about your boyfriends over there.”

"Okay, he’s not my boyfriend, but he’s my friend and who he wants to suck face with is his own damn business."

Jackass numbers two and three were crowding in closer like this was gonna get ugly real fast. Dean was backed against the table, and Sam couldn’t get out but he heard a low ‘Dean’, that meant ‘I got your back’. Cas and Garth had stopped kissing and were staring in confusion. They probably hadn’t heard over the din of the bar what was going on. That was good.

Dean was ready to shove this guy away and try to take the fight outside or something, when the jackass dropped and rammed his shoulder against Dean’s solar plexus, heaving him back until he fell and sprawled on the booth table. Baskets of food went flying and Dean felt the beer sloshing against his nice suit. Three sets of eyes in the booth widened and looked at him before swiveling in synch to look at jackass crowing over Dean.

Oh it was on.

Dean launched off the table and tackled him, clipping a waitress on accident in the process. A tray of green beer and fish and chips rained down as he tumbled on the floor with the jackass. The guy tried to pin Dean down belly to the floor, face mashed against greasy fries, but he twisted around and flipped them. A heavy beer glass was swung at his head, the guy scrambling for anything he could get his grubby paws on cause he probably knew by now that he made a mistake and wouldn’t win a fair fight with Dean.

Avoiding the glass, keeping his thighs hard around the guys waist and keeping him down, Dean didn’t notice what was in his other hand as it swung up, slapping Dean in the face with deep fried cod. He paused, the fish tumbling down his front in a greasy trail, momentarily stunned enough at the juvenile attack that Sam and Cas were hauling him off the guy while Garth tried placating the waitress and the bouncer pushing through the crowd towards them. Several twenties were left on the table as they filed out into the bitter night air, laughing.

Dean shook his head as he rounded towards the back alley, the other three in tow. “Oh my God, I don’t know if I’ve ever actually been in a food fight in my life.”

"Dude you’re covered in beer."

Cas looked a little uncertain of the events, but he was still holding hands with Garth, their fingers linked.

Garth shook his head, asking “What was that even about?”

Dean shook fries out of his jacket. His shirt was stained with green beer and grease. “Nothing, just drunks being stupid.”

Sam was rolling his eyes, and Dean figured his brother had heard what it was really about.

Garth was leaning in close to whisper something in Cas’ ear, and Cas turned into it, pecking his lips again but lightly this time. Dean couldn’t help ribbing them, they made such a weird picture together. Garth, who always looked a little funny and it didn’t help with his fringed jacket and beads. Cas, with his shirt unbuttoned and cheeks bright red.

"Get a room you two,” Dean joked.

Cas reached into his pocket, pulling out and jangling a set of keys. “I have one, at the Starlight Motel.”

"Oh yeah."

Sam turned to Garth, “Are you going to ride back with us?”

Garth turned to Cas, back to them, then to Cas again. “You want me to come back with you?”

Cas smiled widely, sliding his hand up to grip Garth’s wrist. “Very much so.”

Garth nodded, “Yeah, I’d like that. Cool. I got my own ride, if you want to come with me?”

Cas nodded and the pair walked off to the parking lot, Dean trailing after with Sam and watching curiously. Cas was swaying a little, but Garth opened the door to his car for Cas and shut if after him. The music came out loud and abrasive through the rolled down windows - _‘It’s going down fo’ real’_. Dean saw Cas leaning forward and turning the music up way too loud, smiling and buckling his seatbelt before they pulled away.

Sam had a weird kind of smirk on his face. Dean wasn’t too sure what had just happened but he walked over to baby and unlocked her.

"Oh, dude, they’re going back to the Starlight. Cas’ room is next to ours."

Sam looked at him over the roof of the car. “Yeah?”

"Man I’m gonna need to stop at Rite-Aid for ear plugs."


End file.
